2 Little 2 Late 2 Bad

Well, if you didn't look up the article yesterday, you'll only get half as much today.

Here's what happened.

I wrote a 4000 word article on Sen. Vicki Walker, Lane County's Comstock-in-residence. I suggested that they might want to break it into two parts, and suggested a break point. They don't communicate with me a whole lot, so I had to email 'em and ask: DID YOU RUN IT AS ONE PART OR AS TWO?

Here, verbatim:

> Are you publishing the story as a one-parter or as a two-parter?

One. You'll have plenty of time to include our girl's latest PC grandstanding.

(That, by the by, was the unsigned totality of the communique.) So, this morning, I get the mail, and there's the latest copy of the newspaper. There, on the front page, top, left, is my article. It says "Part One of Two."

Well, stoooopid me. I'd asked so that I could post ONLY what had already been published, and my publisher ... er ... was in ERROR regarding my polite inquiry. (I am euphemizing like a sonofabitch here).

Well, I've corrected things, and now only part 1 is up. So, if you got there yesterday, you got the full article. If you get there today or later, you only get part 1.

Think my English wasn't plain enough?

Oy.

The article is either available through my AVA OREGON! archive (see RIGHT HAND SIDEBAR) or via the link below.

Pithy quote: He who sleeps in continual noise is wakened by silence.

-- William Dean Howells

Pissy quote: Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

-- Don Stanford

What's the Buzz; tell me what's happenin'

OK. It's Thursday. I posted the story. It's at:

http://www.hartwilliams.com/ava/ava0113.htm

The alternative title was:

People who wear glass jackboots shouldn't
goosestep.

But I didn't think anybody would get it.

Last minute odds and ends ...

Now, where did I put that welder's mask?

(sounds of rummaging)

THERE!

And a box of Orville Redenbacher's Gourmet Popping Corn ...

Great! I'm all set. I look something like a sort of shabby non-orthodox kachina version of a GI Joe Navy SEAL action figure, but, you know, the thermos is full of lemonade and the happy sound of popping corn will alert me to the inevitable PeeCee festivities.

Great googly moogly. Aren't Tolerant Progressives great people?

You betcha!

Aaaargh!

Hart, you fool you fool!

YOU FORGOT THE OVEN MITTS!

(Got 'em)

Whew.

That was a close one!

The Calm Before the Storm

Let's see:

• Asbestos longjohns? Check.
• Flame retardant bunny slippers? Check
• Firewall ski mask? Check.
• Advanced ceramic ear and nose filters? Check.
• Space shuttle tile lawn chair? Check.

Looks like I'm ready for this week's article to come out tomorrow.

Hoo boy!

Ain't it nice to know that the Green Monkey experiment pretty much applies to ALL of the higher apes? (Well, not Bush. I mean the HIGHER apes, of course.)

Absent With Out Leave

I've been busy the past few days (which explains the void of postings on the blog). It's a heckuva story, and I have to thank my lucky stars that I've got an editor who's got the cojones to publish it.

(I only gots so many words in me per day, and the blog, of necessity is going to get short shrift when other things is happenin'. Sorry.)

It's un-PC as hell, and I fully expect a yowling to come across the sky -- to paraphrase Pynchon's wonderful Gravity's Rainbow. (I know ... it's gone in and out of fashion, but I've loved it for a long time now, and I'm getting too old and cranially calcified to change my opinions at this late date).

But the good news is that I'm sure to get loads and loads of really fun hate mail, and I'm going to post it RIGHT HERE so that we can all enjoy the festivities.

An auto da fe is so much fun; you kind of wonder how come they've become so unfashionable. Jeepers!

Or, to quote the subject of my investigative report ... Gee whiz!

Excelsior! (to make an extremely obscure reference to the old radio show that birthed the hoax novel I, Libertine).

Bravery never goes out of fashion.
-- William Makepeace Thackeray