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review by Hart Williams (c) 1998 (Posted Sat, 12 Sep 1998 01:36:46 GMT -- or Friday evening for you Americans) Unlike Mr. Kenneth Starr, Inquisitor General, I don't have any skeletons in my closet -- they ceased to fit in my closet long ago, and these days I rent space for them in a warehouse. One of them is this: I was an editor at HUSTLER magazine when I was 23 years old. This might not seem germane, except to let you know that this opinion is a PROFESSIONAL opinion, rendered by a professional: had Starr's porn novel (entitled "In Re: Madison Guaranty" or "The Starr Report" which I downloaded this afternoon) come in the mountain of slush I had to wade through each and every morning, I'd have tossed it in the trash. Make no mistake: it IS pornography, but not very good pornography. For pornography to be effective, the setup has to be good - the actual sex tends to be very much the same as one writes it, although an ability to write with panache helps. Still, as my job was to ADD that panache, I used to look merely for good source material that I could rewrite into something approaching English. And, of course, the FIRST rule of good pornography is that it is FANTASY, and not the frightening specter that sex so often becomes in the real world. Don't talk about unwanted pregnancies, about divorces, about ugly affairs, or sleeping in the wet spot. Keep it happy. On this ground, Starr fails miserably. It seems apparent from context that the man (let's call him "Bill") is an older executive, while the girl (let's call her "Monica") is a "sweet young thing" fresh out of college, interning at Bill's firm to get that all-important resume-filler that can eventually land her a good job in Corporate America. |
From the git-go, "Monica" seems to have her sights
set on Bill. (It is all told from Monica's perspective; Bill has refused to kiss and
tell--a "failing" that Starr excoriates him for) She flirts manically, bragging
that at one point she made a point of reaching up to 'accidentally' show Bill her thong
underwear under her jacket. As with many portions of Starr's novel, this doesn't quite
parse, but that's the way he writes - dull and spare, but filled with nearly explicit sex
that doesn't quite show any panache: "In the course of flirting with him, she raised
her jacket in the back and showed him the straps of her thong underwear, which extended
above her pants." Finally she corners him alone in "George's" office. She tells him that she has a crush on him, and he admits that he's had an eye on her. "In the windowless hallway adjacent to the study, they kissed. Before returning to her desk, [Monica] wrote down her name and telephone number ... ". Then, creeping reality begins to set in. Monica lets Bill fondle her breasts: "She unbuttoned her jacket; either she unhooked her bra or he lifted her bra up; and he touched her breasts with his hands and mouth. 'I believe he took a phone call . . . and so we moved from the hallway into the back office . . . . [H]e put his hand down my pants and stimulated me manually in the genital area." While [Bill] continued talking on the phone ... she performed oral sex on him. He finished his call, and, a moment later, told [Monica] to stop. In her recollection: 'I told him that I wanted . . . to complete that. And he said . . . that he needed to wait until he trusted me more. And then I think he made a joke . . . that he hadn't had that in a long time.'" One deduces that Bill's wife-like most American wives-is not interested in oral sex, while Bill-like many American husbands-is, although he's had bad experiences in that area. From this poorly written sex scene, we progress rapidly, as the young woman, Monica, takes control of the relationship, increasingly picking the times and places of their encounters, and crying on the phone, |
telling Bill that she loves him, and subtly threatening to
damage him if he doesn't play along. His participation seems limited to fondling her
breasts, some kissing and manually manipulating her a few times. She, on the other hand,
turns down his request to orally satisfy her in return, claiming menstruation. This is all cloddishly written, though explicit in the extreme, as though Starr's novel had been written by a very uptight monk, attracted by the salacious, but not quite willing to fill in details. (Perhaps he hasn't had enough sex to add the "writer's eye" details that make the difference between good fiction and deadly dull prose.) We see Bill trying to disengage from Monica, but she won't have it. Bill "told her that he no longer felt right about their intimate relationship, and he had to put a stop to it. [Monica] was welcome to continue coming to visit him, but only as a friend. He hugged her but would not kiss her." Her predatory talents justified, Monica laughs at poor Bill during an encounter when he "zipped up real quickly and went out and came back in . . . . I just remember laughing because he had walked out there and he was visibly aroused, and I just thought it was funny." But temptation plays on the older man: "After passing [Monica] in a hallway one night in late February or March, Bill telephoned her at home and said he was disappointed that, because she had already left ... for the evening, they could not get together. [Monica said] that the call 'sort of implied to me that he was interested in starting up again.' ... [A few days] Later, he telephoned her at her desk and asked if she would like to see a movie. His plan was that she would position herself in the hallway by (continued) |
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Ken Starr's Porn Novel